An extract from my Journal

I don't like the way i act toward Peaches.I constantly experience her as a very attractive woman,and yet the whole time i act like a polite eunuch.When i feel my maleness sexually,i want to consciously decide whether to act it out.When being an asexual nice-guy is a pretense,it is also self-betrayal.A decision can come from strength or self doubt.I see now that i want every act to be a self-affirming choice.

My feelings may demand action but they do not require it,I am free to choose what my body represents.To act out does not "get it out".In fact,acting it out often re-enforces the emotion and imprints it more deeply on my mind.One thing only is predictable about emotions:They will change.I don't have to "Honor" every passing feeling as if an opportunity for self-fulfillment were actually slipping from my grasp.